Think my 95 year old Mom will get a dx next week

bnot

Heck of a way for an introduction.

This is hard for me. Mom just moved back to Mobile Dec 29th. I took on the task of taking care of her "until". Its just her and me living her.

She's had a lot of problems with what we thought were allergies. Her home health nurse kept wondering why she wasn't getting well, and her doc (at that time) wasn't trying to find out why.

We'd found Mom's old physician from before her move to Tx in 02, and started seeing him. He's had tests going now. Chest xray showed a nodule. Cat scan (without the die in it) showed 2 nodules in her lower left lung.

Her oncologist (we had to have one of those due to her blood platlets), ordered a pet scan. I've had to stay on them, to finally get it scheduled. She goes this Tuesday for the pet scan.

Mom turned 95, August 4th.

I'm so scared. I've been upset. I started googling lung cancer, and see she's had signs for a while. I haven't told her this though. She just wonders why her back hurts so bad, and why her arm hurts at times all the way up to her neck. She's had a chronic cough since she's been here, and her voice has been getting horse the past few days or so.

At 95, I doubt if there is much they will want to do but send her home to die. I know Mom will refuse to be cut on anyway. I don't know what else is available to somoene 95.

She still has her mind. Plays solitare daily. Still uses a walker but gets around pretty well with it. Gets her own meds out of the pill case I load for her. She does pretty darn good for 95 if you ask me. I have to assist her in bathing using a shower chair, but once she gets in there, she does it all herself. I'm proud she can do as much as she does at 95!

When I seen all the symptoms she has that matches the lung cancer, I knew. I have a box of kleenex on the front and back porch, out of her sight. I been doing my crying after she goes to sleep at night. Last night, I cried till 3am.

Mom has always had a very high pain tolerance. With the pain in her back, she told me tonight, she might need something stronger than tynol. So I know she's hurting, plus even though she wont' admit it, I see her gripping her recliner arms when she's in pain.

Mom has always been my rock. She never give up on me when I was a teen. She's always been there for me. She adopted me as raised me as her own child. I'm 51 now, and I've been giving back a peice of what she gave me all those years.

I just don't know if I can get through this without her seeing me crying.

Glad I found this site, as I know I will need a friend or 10, before this is over with. I'm also bipolar, and have been using a forum for that since 2001, which has really been helpful.

We should get the results of her pet scan August 28th. That was my parents anniversary. I don't know if I'll get through all this.

I suppose thats about it for my intro. Not very sunny for sure. Sorry

LizNDale

Bnot (afraid!)

I am so sorry to hear about your mom's pending dx. I'll be praying for both of you.

I can read the love and admiration you have for your mom. 95! Wow! She sounds like a gem and you are obviously a very loving and generous daughter.

I know, we all know, that fear. You've found the right place to come to in my opinion. The people on this forum, the admins and users, are a font of information, shared experiences, and compassion.

God Bless you both, take heart, let the tears flow, love her, love her, love her.

{{{Bnot}}}

Liz
_________________
My Mother - Stage IV NSCLC - Adenocarcinoma
Mets to Adrenal Glands and Brain
Diagnosed Thursday June 12th 2008
Died Sunday September 7th 2008

Her Story:
http://cancerforums.net/about9639.html
Her Statement of Faith Memorial:
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=10528

bnot

Mom's back has been killing her the past few days. I don't know what to do for her, as she's on blood thinners, and a lot of other meds.

She's been taking tynol, and using a heating pad. I offered to give her a back rub, but she declined.

I'm at a loss as what to do to help her.

She's also been sleeping a LOT lately.

brainman

bnot, I am very sorry about your mother's cancer. Tylenol my not be the best for back pain. Ask her doctor if she can try Advil instead. I use Tylenol for fevers but Advil for back pain.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

bnot

Brainman, actually Mom can take Advil. She has some here. I'm not sure why she prefers that to the tynol. I'll ask her tomorrow when she decides she's hurting again.

She hasn't got the dx just yet, but after googling lung cancer symptoms, she's had many of them already, so I kinda DO suspect thats whats been going on.

Trying to pay more attention to how often she takes the tynol. She has 8 hour tynol, but took it after 6 hours again tonight. Very unusual for her, cause she doen't like to take anything for pain, and has a very high pain tolerance.

bnot

Thanks brainman. Mom took Advil today, and I notice her heating pad off.

Still sitting on pins and needles waiting on the results from the pet scan. We should get this tomorrow.

Its been a grueling few weeks for me.

pbj11 · Site Admin Joined: 12 May 2007 Posts: 1265

Bnot,

I've read through your story and am sorry that this is happening to your dear Mom. I'm sending my best wishes for the news today. I hope the doctor will be able to prescribe something that will help with the pain a little more.

It's so tough to not cry in front of them. You don't want them to think you don't care, but it hurts them to cry in front of them. It's a fine line to walk, especially when you are so shocked with an impending diagnosis.

Take care and let us know what happened today.

PBJ
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.

Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

bnot

I'm up, I called for results, and they will call me back. So grueling. They are the slowest office in the south. When we've went there, its always been a 2 hour wait to see her oncologist.

bnot

Oh Gawd.....

Finally doc office calls back at 4pm for results of pet scan. Says that "whatever it is, it hasn't grown since her cat scan Aug 6th".

But they want us in there Tuesday, to discuss "options"

WTF?????

We been waiting since July to find out whats going on. WE really thought today we'd get an answer.

Hurry up and wait again, on the Gulf Coast, with Gustav threating our area.

Ever want to slap the krap out of a doctor?

Mom is 95, and all the stress isn't helping her at all.

onecoyote · Experienced user Joined: 15 Jul 2008 Posts: 66

Bnot,
I know what you are feeling as I have been there. Everytime I met a new specialty doctor I expressed my displeasure at the time that was wasting between appointments for this and that. My husband was diagnosed on June 6th and we are just now scheduled for surgery on September 4th, 3 full, long and agonizing months! I tried to tell the medical staff that this waiting had a detrimental effect on patients and family that did them not one once of good. What I got in reply was, "we're sorry". Hardly the answer we all want since sorry doesn't relieve our stress.
I wish I could make you feel better but we are all in this boat once we start the cancer journey. All you can do is be informed, ask alot of questions and find out when test results are due in and then be assertive and call for the results. We do have to be either our own advocates or have someone be our advocate. Good luck and keep us all informed with your progress.
Onecoyote

bnot

Onecyote, sorry about your husbands cancer. I'm glad he has the option of operation. I don't think at 95, Mom will have an option.

She did fill out the living will today. I don't think she wants any treatment, just to be kept comfortable. As much as it breaks my heart, I can't much blame her. She's 5 years away from being 100 years old. Not the best time in your life to be put under.

I keep hoping they'd tell me its scar tissue. She's had pneumonia 2 times that I know of, and bronchitis a few times too.

And the bad part, is we're on the Gulf Coast in Alabama, and Hurricane Gustav, is scheduled to hit the same day as we are supposed to go to the doctor. I have a feeling that will be put off yet again.

I told Mom earlier I was going out for a smoke, she asked if she could have one. Not good, as I know this is as grueling for her, as me.

koikkeril · Super Moderator Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Posts: 334

Not
Hello...I have been a little out of town for a while so I am just catching up and found so many new people here on the forum!

I am amazed to read about your wonderful 95year old mother and at that she sounds a character!
I can obviously understand it would be difficult to put someone to sleep for an op, at this late age in life... I would like to let you know i will be thinking of you and shall pray the hurricane is delayed and you get some good results....

God Bless in the meantime and hope to hear soon regarding the diagnosis.. Koik
_________________
Husband diagnosed with stage 1V NSCLC Febuary 2007.....Lost his battle August 27th 2008 but lives on in my heart.

LizNDale

Bnot,

How well I know the "hurry up and wait" syndrome!

I hope the news, when you finally get it, is that it is scar tissue or some other benign cause. I suppose one of the options will be a biopsy? I don't know anything about PET scans, can they diagnose without a biospy?

Take care, you're both in my prayers,

Liz
_________________
My Mother - Stage IV NSCLC - Adenocarcinoma
Mets to Adrenal Glands and Brain
Diagnosed Thursday June 12th 2008
Died Sunday September 7th 2008

Her Story:
http://cancerforums.net/about9639.html
Her Statement of Faith Memorial:
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=10528

bnot

Liz, all this is new to me. So I don't know what is going on just yet. I have a LOT to learn. Yea, scar tissue would be wonderful news. But her oncologist wanted her to come in to "discuss options". I wouldn't think you'd need options with scar tissue.

I can't stand her office, always a 2 hour wait.

I suppose the good news, is hurricane Gustav is heading more westwardly, so maybe Mom's doc will be open Tuesday.

bnot

We did get in her office today.

Even though Mom is 95, she has her complete mind.

Doc said the spot on the lung did look like Lung cancer per the pet scan. There was also a spot on her chest that looks like it'd spread.

But didn't know what type, and what we wanted to do, seeing Mom is so far up there right now.

She did give us the options. Mom listened. Mom said she ain't a quitter, and opted for the biopsy.

They will schedule a biopsy, and let us know when it is. They said they can do a biopsy without putting her to sleep, using a very small needle. Told us the bad and the good that went with it.

This is where we are right now. Which sucks for being 95 years old.

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