An older woman with breast cancer.

sandiasly · New User Joined: 10 May 2008 Posts: 2

Age: 79 (will be 80 on September 17)
30 yrs. postmenopausal
Invasive lobular carcinoma - Stage 2

I had a needle biopsy last Tuesday. He took 3 samples from my breast and 2 from an armpit lymphnode. He said the pathology report indicated that I would need to have a mastectomy followed by chemo plus radiation. I have heard terrible things about the effects of the treatments, but I have also heard that they do not agressively treat women my age. We're going to die soon anyway so why bother.

I have lumbar spinal stenosis and have been in a wheelchair for 17 years. I have a duodenal ulcer and hemorrhagic gastritis. I have trigeminal neuralgia and am taking Gabapentin for that. I have mildly high blood pressure. I have COPD. I've been smoking for 60+ years and still am. If I was going to get a cancer, I would have expected it to be in the lungs.

I'll be seeing the surgeon next Tuesday to schedule the mastectomy. I guess he'll give me more information on the pathology report. Then I'll have to make decisions.

Am I going to have to go through a lot of pain and suffering and then die anyway? I'm more afraid of the pain and suffering than of the dying. And I know this is not a nice thing to say, but I'm afraid that I'll be wanting a cigarette so badly and won't be able to have one at times. Sorry, but I'm just stating an honest feeling. I don't have anyone to talk to and it's feels safe to talk about my fears to someone I don't know.

As I said, I haven't even had the mastectomy yet, but can anyone tell me what to expect next?
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Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 817 Location: UK

Hi - I am so sorry you have had this diagnosis on top of everything else.

One option you have is not to have surgery. You have the right of decision. I think you need to talk to someone about all the possible options and what their effects are before agreeing to a mastectomy. It is particularly important to consider the effects on your quality of life.

I did not have a mastectomy, so cannot comment on its effects and dangers, preferring to go the route of management through chemo and hormonals. So far, apart from skin mets, the situation is relatively static. But one is always on a knife edge with cancer.

Keep us informed.

Best wishes

inspire · Regular Joined: 22 Dec 2007 Posts: 13

I too am sorry for your having to deal with this.

I would agree- I think you have many options . You can do nothing or everything. Having seen a number of older women have mastectomies It seems like they recovered rather well and quickly.
I had double mastectomy ( for Invasive lobular grade 2) with simultaneous reconstruction and I was able to get back to work in 7 days but I had some lite pain meds on board.

I did not do chemo or radiation that was offered to me which was deemed risky for my premenopausal estrogen + status - I am willing to do somethings and not others. Its' just what I feel is right and do-able for me.

Make sure someone explains the risks and benefits. If anything makes you go into your fear of needless suffering as you feel you will die sometime then ask questions...lots of questions. Take someone with you to listen and write things down. It's hard to hear and then remember CLEARLY what was said as it's all so new.

Be tender with yourself and remember what you believe and what you have valued in your life - and stay true to yourself.. No one can tell youthat you have to do anything if it is more than your can endure physically emotionally or spiritually.

Take the gentlest of care....you have come 80 years you have obviously done alot of things "right" for yourself. Dont' give up your thoughts or will to anyone or any profession or system. Care for yourself in a way that makes sense long term and short term. Breathe and find peace in your decision to go forward with or without certain ascribed treatments.

You know the way.....
I know you know. Trust

sandiasly · New User Joined: 10 May 2008 Posts: 2

Thank you so much for your kind and understanding sympathy. And for your encouragement. I was beginning to feel that I might become more of a victim of the medical profession than of the cancer. I've always had a problem with being assertive in the face of *authority*. That's just the way we were raised *back then*.

I don't feel like I have to cling tenaciously to this life - I know there's a better one ahead for me. But dying is an *unknown* and thus I fear it. I have executed a "Living Will" so my first choice would be to die on the operating table, without having to go through the awareness of pending doom.

I have always had a problem with making choices and decisions. My daughter has my Medical POA and knows my feelings in the matter of resuscitation and will respect them. Although she doesn't want to lose me yet, she agrees that if I HAVE to die from this, I shouldn't have to suffer before it happens. We feel that if a small amount of pain will keep me alive for a period of years, I should go that way. But if it's only a matter of months then I should take the paliative route and let it end quickly. But will the surgeon or oncologist tell me the truth? Who can explain to us exactly how this whole thing will play out?

What I'm asking from you dear people is to try to give me some scenarios of what you've been through, or know about, that might apply to my situation - if possible. Something that might help me decide just how far I want to go before throwing in the towel.

I truly appreciate your kindness. I feel such a warmth emanating from your posts. It's more than I had anticipated. Thank you.
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Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 817 Location: UK

Hi - you need someone whose has been through mastectomy to talk you through the operation and its effects. I am sorry - I can't help you on that score. Your existing conditions also add a factor that is difficult to assess for an outsider.

Do you have your daughter with you at your consultations? If not, perhaps this time you should ask her to go with you. A second pair of ears can be extremely helpful. Also, work out on paper what questions you want to ask, ask them and write the answers down. It is valuable to have a record to refer back to.

It is worth pointing out that if you are not entirely happy about the proposed treatment, you can seek another opinion. Not all surgeons and oncologists necessarily agree and it can be helpful to get a different view.

It is really hard, being told that it is your decision what to do! I usually chicken out and ask my oncologist what she sees as the best way forward. However, this time she has firmly placed the ball in my court about two options and I am having to take the decision. I'm not good at that - always convinced afterwards that I should have taken the other route.

Keep talking to us - someone is usually around.

inspire · Regular Joined: 22 Dec 2007 Posts: 13

There is an effect called the "Monte Hall effect" google in the New york times from the old TV show Lets make a Deal. It says that the second choice you make ican be a better one than the first... You'll have to read the article for the statistics. I too scond guess and wonder if it was realy really the best...but somethings I attribure to fate and intevention with a sacred contract with me and the divine - some whisper in my ear which is the way it's "supposed to work out" for my and other's life stories..

Have things all has worked out as it is suppoed to with the decisions you have made thus far..... maybe things "could have" been better but equally then things could have been worse. Like monte Hall there is a posiblity you could have gotten a pig or a goat - metaphorically.

Cindy · Senior User Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 171

Hi Sandi...So sorry you have to be here. I just wanted to pipe in and tell you there is so much hope. No matter the age. My mom had surgery (not bc related) at the age of 81. She recovered nicely and is now 83. I think we all have that fear of dying on the operating room table.

Just because you have cancer, doesn't mean you are going to die. That is the first thing we all think when we are first diagnosed. You are still young yet, at 79. You've got a ways to go. You will be surprised that the pain is not going to be that great; not like it was back in the day. They keep you quite comfortable with pain pills. They will probably release you within one day and you will be able to go home and smoke to your hearts content, if you choose.

I had double mastectomies, with reconstruction and I only took one pain pill while I was in the hospital and a couple after I got out...that was all. I didn't have any pain in my breast. The discomfort was in my tummy where they made my new belly button after taking the skin and fat from my abdomen for transplant to the breast. No breast pain at all.

My pathology was pretty bad and I will be six years out in August. I think you will do just fine. Your daughter will have you around for a while yet. Your mind sounds really sharp. My mother wouldn't know WHAT to do with a computer. Sending you many blessings and wishes for an easy and speedy recovery.
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www.truefacesofbreastcancer.org
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www.mybreastcancerstore.com
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ritanl4 · New User Joined: 30 Jun 2008 Posts: 2 Location: Austin TX

Hi, I am 78 and had a modified radical masectomy of left breast 4 years ago. I also have COPD, coronary artery disease, high blood pressure, a recent heart inmplant and am on numerous meds. I would do the masectomy again today in a heartbeat. I am sending you a private message with more info re: my case and reasons for my decision. Only you can decide what is right for you.
Excellent Drs. are of prime importance and if you or your daughter have doubts, consider a second opinion and second Drs. viewpoint and recommendation about the surgery. I think there are many of us older women with cancer but wonder how many post here? I just found this site after learning recently I may have a metastes to my hip. All good wishes and many blessings. ritanl4
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