Issues and more Issues

JLC · Regular Joined: 18 May 2008 Posts: 23

Kristi,

If you can get Hospice care it is a true blessing. Talk with your father's doctor about it. I cannot say enough good things about our experience with Hospice.

I understand your frustration with your siblings. I have two sisters and one of them was no help whatsoever, and even became a hindrance. The bulk of the load fell to my other sister and I. We were glad to do it, but I still harbor some resentment.

You are in my thoughts and my heart.

J

simplyklb · Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 3:10 pm Post subject: Re: Issues and more Issues

I got the best gift the last two days... Palliative care! WOO-HOO! They will come out to check my dad a day or two a week. Smile

I am getting a volunteer to come in on Fridays so I can get out of the house! Thins are looking up. Smile

Kristi
_________________
Dad - Andy, 70, diagnosed with SCLC in May 2008
2/20/38 - 10/15/08 Fly high, Dad!
Mom - Jackie, 67, diagnosed with NSCLC in May 2008

ksplat · Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 5:07 pm Post subject: Re: Issues and more Issues

Dear Kristi

This is great news, enjoy your time on Friday!

Cheers, Angie.
_________________
Brother diagnosed with GBMIV Feb 07
Treatment: Radiotherapy, Temodal, Gliadel Wafers, Dexamethasone, Keppra, Dilantin, Clexane
Went to our Heavenly Father after a 19mth battle,, 47 years young.
23 Sep 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=19227

"Without Faith We Have Nothing"

ChemoMan · Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:43 pm Post subject: Re: Issues and more Issues

[quote="simplyklb"]I got the best gift the last two days... Palliative care! WOO-HOO! They will come out to check my dad a day or two a week. Smile

I am getting a volunteer to come in on Fridays so I can get out of the house! Thins are looking up. Smile

Kristi[/quote]

Hi kristi

I have just read this thread. Its hard isn't it, especially when your siblings appear to be brain dead. I'm really glad that you managed to get some care enabling you to get out for some R&R, its great news.
I have a friend who came to visit a lot. I did appreciate the visits at first but they were so frequent that it started to get me down. One day he came up and he was so full of a head cold that he could hardly talk. Not only that but he brought up a computer for me to work on ( I did say i would do it) one that he had been coughing all over of course.I got so sick after this that I honestly thought I was dying. I am still suffering from his cold although I am a lot better than I was. The really strange thing is my friend is a nurse!
I have 3 siblings . 2 of them really didn't even acknowledge that I existed. One of my brothers works at the same place I do , and he rang TWICE during my treatment, mainly because he was embarrassed at work when people asked how I was going and he couldn't answer them. My sister also only rang twice, she was more concerned with her new bathroom and had no time for me. If it wasn't for my middle brother, and my partner Jane, who were both there for me whenever I needed it I would have been in a real state. I have no desire to have much contact with my youngest brother and my sister anymore. One thing about cancer is that it manages to sort out who the really important people in your life are.
What I am trying to say here is sometimes its better to have the siblings come over too much rather than not at all. Keep telling them not to visit with illness and get angry if you have to. There is no point in your dad feeling worse than he already does. I eventually got rid of my friend by telling him that when people die during chemo it is nearly always due to infection. I didn't tell him that this was a very rare thing though Smile

Enjoy Friday and let your hair down.

Thinking of you and yours
_________________
Age 52
Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
Stage 2a
Finished six cycles of R chop 21 26th May 2008
Officially in remission 9th July 2008
Remission confirmed 1st October 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9620

simplyklb · Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 1:48 pm Post subject: Re: Issues and more Issues

My dad understands it. My mom does not. There are too many issues to get into with that. I am furious with my mom and her know-it-all cousin. I have told my dad that I do not want to lose him to an infection because someone knowingly brought something in. I will let my mom worry about her own care. I am going to focus on my dad. He needs more care. I told him today that I want him to be independent but there are things he cannot do anymore. I told him just let me do things my way and don't tell me how to do it. The weekend parties are stopping.. My dad does not want it. If the family feels the need to party, they can go elsewhere. Smile

He is trying to concentrate on feeling better. Back to the basement... Cleaning things up that my mom should have. She was complaining about it but never did anything about it.

Kristi
_________________
Dad - Andy, 70, diagnosed with SCLC in May 2008
2/20/38 - 10/15/08 Fly high, Dad!
Mom - Jackie, 67, diagnosed with NSCLC in May 2008

ChemoMan · Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:37 pm Post subject: Re: Issues and more Issues

Hi Again
You are in a very stressful situation. I don't know how I would cope in your place. I think you are doing well, I hope so. I take it from your posts that Dad is not fairing as well as Mum? Do you do the running around for both your parents? As far as interfering relatives is concerned, as long as the interfering does not compromise the treatment maybe you could use them to your advantage, although you might have done that already Wink

Just a word about hand cleaners. Hospitals use these products to avoid infection with antibiotic resistant staph which is a huge problem in large hospitals all over the world. MRSA infections are responsible for a lot of fatalities in hospitals. The hand cleaners are of no use in viral infections. If the person has picked up cold or flu virus on their hands, no amount of using hand cleaners will help. The only way to protect against viral cross infection is by washing hands with soap and water. Good hygiene always was the basis for good nursing and nothing has changed even with all our newfangled gizmo's and stuff

Cheers and look after yourself
_________________
Age 52
Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
Stage 2a
Finished six cycles of R chop 21 26th May 2008
Officially in remission 9th July 2008
Remission confirmed 1st October 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9620

simplyklb · Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:46 am Post subject: Re: Issues and more Issues

My dad's disease is much more progressed than my mom's. The relative is leaving this morning. Smile

Thank you for the tip! I would prefer no one with any type of virus would be around. I really need to educate two of my brothers with their kids on low counts. I don't want to lose a parent due to an infection brought in knowingly.

Kristi
_________________
Dad - Andy, 70, diagnosed with SCLC in May 2008
2/20/38 - 10/15/08 Fly high, Dad!
Mom - Jackie, 67, diagnosed with NSCLC in May 2008

ChemoMan · Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 4:06 pm Post subject: Re: Issues and more Issues

[quote="simplyklb"]My dad's disease is much more progressed than my mom's. The relative is leaving this morning. Smile

Thank you for the tip! I would prefer no one with any type of virus would be around. I really need to educate two of my brothers with their kids on low counts. I don't want to lose a parent due to an infection brought in knowingly.

Kristi[/quote]

Hi Kristi
Its very unlikely that you will lose a parent in this way even if they get a viral or bacterial infection. it is extremely rare. It is however no fun getting sick on Chemo as it is always worse than at other times.

Good luck Kristi
_________________
Age 52
Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
Stage 2a
Finished six cycles of R chop 21 26th May 2008
Officially in remission 9th July 2008
Remission confirmed 1st October 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9620

simplyklb · Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 4:32 pm Post subject: Re: Issues and more Issues

I know but you never know. Just need people to use common sense. Smile

Kristi
_________________
Dad - Andy, 70, diagnosed with SCLC in May 2008
2/20/38 - 10/15/08 Fly high, Dad!
Mom - Jackie, 67, diagnosed with NSCLC in May 2008

ChemoMan · Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:10 pm Post subject: Re: Issues and more Issues

[quote="simplyklb"]I know but you never know. Just need people to use common sense. Smile

Kristi[/quote]

Same here......unfortunately common sense is not common !

Cheers
_________________
Age 52
Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
Stage 2a
Finished six cycles of R chop 21 26th May 2008
Officially in remission 9th July 2008
Remission confirmed 1st October 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9620

	Cancer Forums Forum Index -> Coping and Support	All times are GMT - 5 Hours Goto page Previous 1, 2
Page 2 of 2

A website for discussions about any type of cancer, including lung cancer, breast cancer, mesothelioma, prostate cancer, laryngeal cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma and others