Emotions

simplyklb · Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 11:43 am Post subject: Emotions

Hi,
I know this is a touchy subject but I need to post about it. But do all of you go thru the gamut of emotions whether you are the person with lung cancer or a family member or caregiver or friend?

I find myself being angry a lot and that is not good. I am not angry at my parents. I am angry at the cancer. I hate cancer!!!!!! I find myself saying that a lot. I am angry at my parents' internist who I felt should have been monitoring my parents a lot more closely since both were ex-smokers. Most of all, I am angry about what the cancer is taking away. I know my dad is going to die from the cancer. I don't know how his cancer is responding to the treatment. I know that I want the cancer to die and go away.

I often find myself sad. Why? I am sad because I have to watch my parents go thru this at the same time. I grieve about the things that have changed. I grieve for the future. I often cry myself to sleep at night. I can't even get thru this post without crying.

I find myself worrying a lot. I worry about what will happen to my family and I. I worry a lot about the future. I worry about my finances even tho I live here with my parents. I have two bills but no job.

I find myself being afraid. What is going to happen? There are lots of unknowns. Is my mom going to die? How much longer will my dad live?

I find myself isolated but not when I come to the messageboards because I know that there are people out there. I feel isolated in my own home. I think that is where some of my major problems lie. Thank goodness for the palliative intake nurse who took the time to listen to me... the caregiver! I am hoping to get out more. I need it.

I try to find hope in all of this. Sometimes it is easy and sometimes it is not. I pray a lot.

Things will never be the same.. Cancer changes everything.

Are the feelings I talked about natural?

Kristi
_________________
Dad - Andy, 70, diagnosed with SCLC in May 2008
2/20/38 - 10/15/08 Fly high, Dad!
Mom - Jackie, 67, diagnosed with NSCLC in May 2008

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 789 Location: UK

Entirely natural.

Most of us will recognise them, and will often have felt the same way. Watching your nearest and dearest as they go through pain and suffering, fearing that there is only one resolution, is tough.

The essential thing is to have someone to talk to - whether face to face or in a forum like this one. The last thing you should do is bottle it up inside without any release. That is damaging and can lead to serious breakdown. So any time you need to vent and seek support, do it.

Is there by any chance a cancer support group in your district? Somewhere that you can meet others in the same kind of situation and can share your problems and solutions.

simplyklb · Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:52 pm Post subject: Re: Emotions

I am hoping that the palliative care social worker can find some resources for me as far as a support group goes. There's a program called Turning Point that I would like to get involved in. I just need to find a ride to get there.

Kristi
_________________
Dad - Andy, 70, diagnosed with SCLC in May 2008
2/20/38 - 10/15/08 Fly high, Dad!
Mom - Jackie, 67, diagnosed with NSCLC in May 2008

pbj11 · Site Admin Joined: 12 May 2007 Posts: 1265

Kristi,

Yes, Yes, Yes, --- all are very normal. It's great that you seem to have a firm grasp on the way these emotions entwine. It can be one thing one minute, and something completely different the next.

Just as one who is diagnosed goes through a set of identified stages of grieving over such a grim diagnosis, so does the caregiver. These stages don't necessarily run parallel to each other and you're dealing with three sets of emotions. God love you!

Take care and I hope you can find a face to face support group. At least to get you out of the house a bit! The life of a caregiver can be very lonely.

PBJ
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.

Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

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