Is she faking ovarian cancer?

irishjackmp · New User Joined: 12 May 2008 Posts: 2

All,

I am a two time cancer survivor. The type of cancer I have (Metastatic Renal Cell Cancer) will almost certainly kill me someday. I wanted anyone reading this to know that so they do not think I am asking the following question lightly.

About 6 months ago, a former girlfriend of mine stood me up. I confronted her about it many weeks later and she told me she had been diagnsoed with Ovarian Cancer the day before standing me up and was too upset to call me. Here is where the situation becomes strange.

She kept it very hush hush and only me and her best friend know (understandable). Four times over the next 4 months her surgery was mysteriously cancelled for different reasons (she was running a fever, the doc cancelled on her, her white blood cell count was off, etc...) I promised her i would stop asking about it fi she promised me she would tell me when it was rescheduled. Over the last 2 months, she has not mentioned it at all. I have emailed her twice in the last week asking when it was rescueduled for...and while she has answered the other questions in my emails... she ignored the cancer questions. It has now been 6 months since she told me and I cannot beleive there is any doctor in America who would postpone a cancer surgery that long.

I am left with the sickening feeling that she invented the whole story to cover for standing me up but I find it hard to beleive that anyone could be so twisted as to fake getting cancer... particulary to someone who has cancer and will almost certainly die of it someday.

I want to confront her, but for obvious reasons I want to be absolutely certain I am right before I do. Ladies... as I know many of you are going through this terrible disease, based on your expereinces, is there ANY conciveable scenario under which a doctor would keep postponing an Ovarian Cancer surgery 6 full months?

Thank you in advance for answering... and I will you all the best with your treatment.

Jack

pbj11 · Site Admin Joined: 12 May 2007 Posts: 1002

Jack,

I don't know a heck of a lot about Ovarian even though I lost my Mother to it years ago, but from that experience, hers spread like wildfire. She had multiple surgeries, chemotherapy, and radiation. I can't imagine not going rapidly with some type of therapy or surgery with a diagnosis like that. They will not operate if the WBC or fever is present, so those sound valid. My Mom was also diagnosed at an advanced stage of the cancer.

I guess I need to know what you mean by "standing you up" first. Do you mean on one occasion or did she break off the relationship with this as an excuse?

I'm not sure if this was of any help.

Good luck with this one and I'm sorry you also are facing your own cancer challenges.

PBJ
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.

Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

brainman

irishjackmp, I am sorry for this most difficult situation in which you are. I wish there was a easy way for you to know but there really is not. The reasons she gives for the surgery being postponed are legitimate ones. However, like you, I would think that at some point in the last four months there would have been a time when she would have been able to have the surgery.

Confrontation does not necessarily need to be a "in your face" type action. I this case, confrontation must indeed be very gentle. Even then, you need to be prepared to deal with her reaction. It appears to me that you still have feelings for this woman. You could start by talking about your relationship to her and your concern about her cancer. But if she does not open up, back off. As her ex boy friend, it could really be an unwanted encroachment into a very private part of her life.

As PBJ said, I too do not know if this has helped but I am not sure any of us or anyone else in the Internet for that matter can help you through the quagmire that is before you.

Best wishes.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

irishjackmp · New User Joined: 12 May 2008 Posts: 2

Thanks to you both.

I dated her many many years ago. I am 37 now. Will always look at her as "the one". We reconnected about 2 years ago... fell in love with her all over again but she felt nothing but friendship for me this time around. About 6 months ago, we had plans to get together (we would see each other every 6 weeks or so). She was to call me in the afternoon to tell me what time to pick her up... and never called... and this happened right after I just had another cancer surgery (less than 3 months later).

I had a sick feeling in my gut she was making it up. As everyone who has ever gotten cancer knows... when you first get it you think "get it out of me... now!!!". She was too nonchalant about getting the surgery scheduled. I guess deep down I have know she is faking for a while... I just couldn't bring myself to face the awful truth... that a woman I was in love with would do something so twisted as to fake getting cancer (knowing i have it and it will probably kill me someday)... to come up with a bizzare excuse for standing me up. I have a sick feeling in my stomach right now that I can't even put in to words.

Thank you both for taking the time to respond. I guess it is better to know the truth... no matter how painful.

Anonymous · Guest

Well my friend was diagnosed fairly late into the development of hers. But it did grow fairly fast and once diagnosed she had surgery rather fast. In fact I believe it was no more than a month after diagnosis. I highlt doubt that it would be postponed 6 months. That is a long time to wait for any surgery. Only surgerys that are postponed that long are ones that require organ donors.

Perhaps she's afraid of commitment because she may loose you one day. So she made up the story to relate but let you off easy?

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