Jokes 2.

In · Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:56 am Post subject: Re: Jokes 2.

BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE CHILDREN

Test 1 - Preparation

Women: To prepare for pregnancy:-
1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children:-
1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2 - Knowledge

Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their
methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance
levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest
ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet
training, table manners and overall behaviour.

Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all
the answers.

Test 3 - Nights

To discover how the nights will feel:
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag
weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some
other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.

2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to
sleep.

3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.

4. Set the alarm for 3am.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.

6. Go to bed at 2.45am.

7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.

9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.

10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

Test 4 - Dressing Small Children

1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang
out.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Test 5 - Cars
1. Forget the luxury sedan. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6 - Going For a Walk
Wait

Go out the front door

Come back in again

Go out

Come back in again

Go out again

Walk down the front path

Walk back up it

Walk down it again

Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.

Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of

used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.

Retrace your steps

Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours

come out and stare at you.

Give up and go back into the house.

You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7 - Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8 - Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can
find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you
intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.

2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your
sight.

3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9 - Feeding a 1 year-old
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the
swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

Test 10 - TV
1. Learn the names of every character from children's singing group,
children's cartoons, children's characters and cartoon animals.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11 - Mess
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains

2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean
walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?

4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor
& leave it there.

Test 12 - Long Trips with Toddlers

1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important
Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include
occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.

2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13 - Conversations

1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.

2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve
while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a
child in the room.

Test 14 - Getting ready for work
1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.

2. Put on your finest work attire.

3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it

4. Stir

5.Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt

6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture

7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel

8. Do not change (you have no time).

9. Go directly to work

You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

In · Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:58 am Post subject: Re: Jokes 2.

He said . . .. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've
got nothing to put in it.
She said .. . You wear pants don't you?

He said .. . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . That's a good idea - you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa.

He said . . .. What have you been doing with all the
grocery money I gave you?
She said . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

On a wall in a ladies room . .. 'My husband follows
me everywhere' Written just below it . ' I do not'

Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the
world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.

Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer

Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.

Q.. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.

Q How many men does it take to change a roll of
toilet paper ?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her
husband is every night?
A.. A widow.

Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge
and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in
bed and go to the fridge.

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.

Man says to God: 'God, why did you make woman so beautiful?'
God says: 'So you would love her.'
But God,' the man says , 'why did you make her so dumb?'
God says: 'So she would love you.'

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH,
AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT .
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

In · Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 2:11 am Post subject: Re: Jokes 2.

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. And those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, Whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health.

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

ksplat · Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:18 pm Post subject: A funny

A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making
love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You
are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a
faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a
divorce straight away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute, love, so at least I can
tell you what happened.'
'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to
me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive
home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and
out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I
noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told
me that she hadn't eaten for three days . So, in my compassion, I brought
her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones
you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor
thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up, I
suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes
were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed
clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years,
but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the
underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I
don't have good taste. I found the sexy b louse my sister gave you for
Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those
boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone
at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for
my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door , she turned to
me with te ars in her eyes and said, 'Please ... do you have anything else
that your wife doesn't use?
_________________
Brother diagnosed with GBMIV Feb 07
Treatment: Radiotherapy, Temodal, Gliadel Wafers, Dexamethasone, Keppra, Dilantin, Clexane
Went to our Heavenly Father after a 19mth battle,, 47 years young.
23 Sep 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=19227

"Without Faith We Have Nothing"

ksplat · Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:20 pm Post subject: A little rude!!

A GREAT COMEBACK LINE!!

A divorced man meets his ex-wife's new husband at a party.
Later after knocking back a few drinks, he goes over to the new guy and asks him:

'So... How do you like using second hand stuff?'
The new husband replies: 'It isn't that bad. Past the first three inches it's all Brand New.'
_________________
Brother diagnosed with GBMIV Feb 07
Treatment: Radiotherapy, Temodal, Gliadel Wafers, Dexamethasone, Keppra, Dilantin, Clexane
Went to our Heavenly Father after a 19mth battle,, 47 years young.
23 Sep 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=19227

"Without Faith We Have Nothing"

ksplat · Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:21 pm Post subject: One for the ladies!

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota.
The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn.
The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors and continues to read her book.
Along comes a game warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you
doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, "(thinking "isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.
"If you do that I will have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment."
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think!!!
_________________
Brother diagnosed with GBMIV Feb 07
Treatment: Radiotherapy, Temodal, Gliadel Wafers, Dexamethasone, Keppra, Dilantin, Clexane
Went to our Heavenly Father after a 19mth battle,, 47 years young.
23 Sep 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=19227

"Without Faith We Have Nothing"

ksplat · Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:24 pm Post subject: Don't mess with Aussie Humour!!

Two English businessmen in London were sitting down for a break, in their soon-to be, new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some thick tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling.'

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Australian walked to the window, had a peek, and in a broad Australian accent asked 'What are you selling here?’

One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling arse-holes.'

Without skipping a beat, the Australian said, 'You've done very well then ... only two left!'

Englishmen - God bless them - should not mess with Australians !!!!
_________________
Brother diagnosed with GBMIV Feb 07
Treatment: Radiotherapy, Temodal, Gliadel Wafers, Dexamethasone, Keppra, Dilantin, Clexane
Went to our Heavenly Father after a 19mth battle,, 47 years young.
23 Sep 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=19227

"Without Faith We Have Nothing"

In · Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 3:55 am Post subject: Re: Jokes 2.

LMAO-

Hehehehe Go ANGIE! they are great. Thanks for sharing.

X In
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

In · Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:27 pm Post subject: Re: Jokes 2.

PUNS
1. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pie.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
19. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
20. A backward poet writes inverse.
21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
23. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
*****
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister,
"When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable?'"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow."
***
"Is yer Dad home?" the farmer asked.
"No sir, he ain't," the boy replied "He went into town."
Well said the farmer, "is yer Mum here?"
"No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"He went with Mum and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely. "I knows where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant."
The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that," he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, but, I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard."

***
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk.
The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos.

They start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son Mohammed.

He would have been 24 years old now."
"Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully.
"He's a martyr now though" mum confides.
"Oh, so sad, dear" says the other.
"And this is my second son, Kalid. He would have been 21."
"Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born."
"He's a martyr too" says mum quietly.
"Oh, gracious me ..." says the other.
"And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would have been 18," she whispers.
"Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school."
"He's a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says...
"They blow up so fast, don't they..."
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

In · Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:27 pm Post subject: Re: Jokes 2.

ITALIAN TOMATO GARDEN

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad.

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad, Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.

Love, Vinnie.

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

The next day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you, Vinnie
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

In · Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:31 pm Post subject: Re: Jokes 2.

THE AUSTRALIAN APPROACH'............................
> A young
> Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job.
> The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?'
>
> The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.'
> The manager liked the
> Aussie so he gave him the job.
> His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through
it.
>
> After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked, 'OK,
so
> how many sales did
> you make today?'
>
> The Aussie said 'One!'
>
> The manager groaned and continued, 'Just one? Our sales people average
20
> or 30 sales a day.
> How much was the sale for?'
>
> '£ 124,237.64'
>
> The manager choked and exclaimed 124,237.64 POUNDS!!
>
> What the hell did you sell him?'
>
> Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and

> then I sold him a new fishing
> rod.
>
> Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the
coast,
> so I told him he would
> need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him
that
> twin-engine Power Cat.
>
> Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took
him
> down to car sales and I
> sold him the 4 x 4 Suzuki'.
>
> The manager, incredulous, said 'You mean to tell me....a guy came in
here
> to buy a fish hook and
> you sold him a boat and a 4x4?'
>
> 'No no no......he came in here to buy a box of "stuff" for his lady
friend
> and I said.........
>
> 'Well, since your weekend's f@#$%, you might as well go fishing.'
>
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

In · Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:32 pm Post subject: Re: Jokes 2.

A little girl asked her father: 'How did the human race appear?'
The father answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so mankind was made.'

Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her father and said, 'Dad, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Mom said they developed from monkeys?'

The father answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your mother told you about hers.'
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

In · Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:34 pm Post subject: Re: Jokes 2.

Love Story

I will seek and find you . .
I shall take you to bed and have my way with you

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love,
The Flu

Now, get your mind out of the gutter and go get your flu shot!
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

In · Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:35 pm Post subject: Re: Jokes 2.

If you've ever worked for a boss that reacts before getting the facts and
thinking things through, you will love this!

A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall.
The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant
business.

He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How
much
money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, "I make

$400 a week. Why?"

The CEO then handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed, "Here's
four
weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back."

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and
asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"

From across the room came a voice, "Pizza delivery guy from
Domino's."
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

In · Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:39 pm Post subject: Re: Jokes 2.

SNOTTY RECEPTIONIST

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared
offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with
patients.
As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist
was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her
his name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, 'YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE;
YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?'
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at
the very embarrassed man.
He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME
TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR
THAT DID YOURS.'

DON'T MESS WITH OLD FOLKS
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

	Cancer Forums Forum Index -> The Lounge	All times are GMT - 5 Hours Goto page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Next
Page 4 of 6

A website for discussions about any type of cancer, including lung cancer, breast cancer, mesothelioma, prostate cancer, laryngeal cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma and others