My dad has secondary liver cancer...I am so sad

karolynca · Experienced user Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 51

I really don't know what else to write. The story goes like this, at 75 years last november my dad started bleeding in his stools and vomit some blood, he was taken to the hospital and spent 9 days in there in which I almost consumed myself (lost 14 pounds, got really sick). I am the only daughter here as my sister lives overseas. After 7 blood transfusions my dad had to be operated, they found a small opening in his small intestines and had to cut part of his stomach and small intestines and reconnect everything. At the time of the operation the surgeon discovered my dad had a mass the size of a softball that was attached to part of the intestine that cannot be pulled out and was covering the bile ducts and surrounding the liver, no way it could be extracted, bile was still flowing though.

He was sent home and was able to spend Xmas and his 76 birthday with us in December.

Oncologists said due to my dad's condition, recent major surgery, his age and the cancer itself we could forego chemo but it was not recommended. prognosis was set up at 2-6 months. His 6 month mark is at the end of May

A couple of days ago we noticed my dad is now jaundice, his feet are also kind of inflamated, they will be running some blood tests tomorrow and a trip to the Dr on Monday however we all know that there is nothing else in terms of treatment we can do, only take care of pain management.

This entire situation comes when I am 4 months pregnant of my first child after battling infertility for 6 years and it's tearing me up to know that he is probably not going to meet my child Sad

. I live like one hour away and try to visit as much, I am the caregiver and recently had to hire a person to stay with them always since I do not live there. My dad is a great man, the greatest dad in the world, he gave me and my sister the very best he could not only in terms of education but also in terms o tender loving care. My biggest fear is the fear of see him suffering and how much this is going to impact my mom who has been married to him 45 years.

I am glad I found this forum, I hope to find not only information but also support here. I don't want to cry my dad before he is gone but I cannot help but feel so sad and empty and lost inside.

ksplat

Dear Karolyn

My heart is aching for you & tears flowing as I read your post about your beloved Dad. I am so very sorry your Dad's condition has become more serious. I do hope the pain management will be sufficient to keep him comfortable?

Although I am not familiar with this kind of cancer I do know what it's like to lose a Dad, I know exactly how you're feeling & I will pray for you that you will be the strength & comfort for your Mum & Dad. The times that you share with your Dad should be filled with happy moments & treasured memories.

At the moment I am working on a photo album/journal for my Bro - Mark - who has a brain tumour. This has helped me direct my energies to something positive for him & it's been an uplifting experience for me, similar to therapy! Perhaps you could direct your energies to a similar project when you're not spending time with your Parents?

Please don't be a stranger here either! We are a fantastic community of people who are happy & willing to offer, comfort, love, support & advice. Finding this community has been a real catalyst & invaluable support to me since my Bro was diagnosed last year.

You will also need to talk / open up to your partner, Sister a close friend? This will be a very challenging time for you, you must especially be finding it hard balancing all of these emotions whilst expecting your 1st baby. Congratulations on this, this should be the most positive & joyful time for you. Please try not to have negative thoughts about your Dad not being around to see your little baby, while there's LIFE there's HOPE! Your baby being born can be the positive in all of this sadness.

My prayers & thoughts are with you Karolyn,
Cheers, Angie.
_________________
Brother diagnosed with GBMIV Feb 07
Treatment: Radiotherapy, Temodal, Gliadel Wafers, Dexamethasone, Keppra, Dilantin, Clexane
Went to our Heavenly Father after a 19mth battle,, 47 years young.
23 Sep 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=19227

"Without Faith We Have Nothing"

karolynca · Experienced user Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 51

Dear Angie
Thanks so much for your kind words of support, they really mean a lot to me. I asked my dad to help me by working on a special project for my child, an album with pictures of all my family and I ask him to write the memories he has of each picture, that will be something to treasure. In real life my husband is the only one by my side, my sister lives overseas and let's just say she is aware of what's going on but living her own life. I think one of the things that keep me up and going strong is my baby.

I am doing my very best to try to enjoy this time with him as much as possible...so in the future I don't look back and find just sorrow of my time with him.

Karolyn

brainman

karolynca, I am truly sorry about your father's cancer and present condition. It is never easy to see someone who cared for you become depended on you and others. I was the primary care provider for both of my parents so I have been where you are. It does sound like you have helped your father to build memories of himself for his grandchildren. I hope he lives long enough to see this new grandchild. Although he or she may never remember his or her grandfather, the picture album will help make a connection to your father... especially since it was one of your father's last projects.

You and your father and family are in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendroglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

karolynca · Experienced user Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 51

Jim thanks a lot for your prayers. As you say it's definetely not easy, I try to focus on the baby and on the fact that I do not control the future but sadly all the things I read in books or at the internet clearly point as to his condition deteriorating, for example today my mom says his eyes are more yellow a sign that bilirubin is rising and of course his body getting poisoned. I work for a pharmaceutical company and I have this tendency of knowing too much of medical stuff which really does not makes things easier because the knowledge can really kill your hopes, if you know what I mean.

I will keep this post updated daily with his condition as is one of the few places I have to vent and find support.

ksplat

Dear karolyn

I am thinking of you today & whilst here on the forum wanted to let you know.
We haven't had a post here for over 10 days fom you & I'm praying hard that this does not mean bad news?! Although I understand your Dad's condition was gradually worsening when we last spoke.
Payers & thoughts are with you.

Cheers, Angie.
_________________
Brother diagnosed with GBMIV Feb 07
Treatment: Radiotherapy, Temodal, Gliadel Wafers, Dexamethasone, Keppra, Dilantin, Clexane
Went to our Heavenly Father after a 19mth battle,, 47 years young.
23 Sep 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=19227

"Without Faith We Have Nothing"

karolynca · Experienced user Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 51

Sorry I have kind of disappeared, I work full time and it has been crazy these days. Angie you don't know how much it means to me that you have remembered me. My dad really was doing bad, the Dr ordered some medication in order to help his liver, his eyes seems to be less yellow and his urine has gone from orange to almost normal yellow which are good signs. His legs are getting tired though. He has not been in pain or taken pain medication for a week now which are all good signs.

Of course with Cancer you just take the good days and enjoy them the most you can. I called him yesterday and he warmed my heart because he asked in the phone "how's my grandchild doing?" first time he spoke like that...I was crying like crazy when I hung up.

We are also introducing some protein that the Dr ordered is like a drink to help with this muscle loss and help him gain some weight and better his quality of life.

I try to keep you all updated, the thing is that the last week of the month plus the first week of the month are the most busiest at work and I just get home soooo tired...

Thanks for caring so much!

karolynca · Experienced user Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 51

Latest update on my dad

My dad was hospitalized Monday July 14 at 3:30 am, he woke up choking and saying he couldn't breath. At the ER he was sent to the Oncology-Hematology ward of the hospital, so far he has gotten 3 pints of blood to increase his hemoglobin which was 6, he has improved tremendously but since two days ago he has started to have difficulty breathing, last night was the worst, he is still conscious but I can see some signs of really big deterioriation.

1. His face looks so sucked in
2. His eyes are so tired and they seem a little lost every now and then.
3. He is weak.
4. He has stopped wanting food since two days ago.
5. He has started to say good byes
6. He doesn't want to speak much.
7. His voice is tired, gets zappy and I cannot understand what he says sometimes.
8. His cough is coming out with a brown twinge in it
9. His legs are really swollen.
10. He is restless but tired.
11. He says that if he goes to sleep he won't wake up.

I may be seeing the last days of the King, I don't know if he is going to stand this one...not for sure...and today I could see his face saying "I am tired....too tired to even talk"

My heart is breaking...I will update more later

Karolyn
_________________
Dad ~ Passed away from Multiorgan failure due to secondary liver cancer on July 2008

http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=34365

zinger

Oh Karolynca,

I'm so sorry the read this news about your Dad. Please stay strong and spend as much time with him as you can! I'll be praying for peace and comfort for your Dad, and strength and courage for you and your family.

God bless!

Cathy
_________________
Dad ~ lung cancer diagnosed Dec 18, 2003, passed Mar 3, 2004.
Mom ~ lung cancer diagnosed May 27, 2008, passed June 1, 2008
They're waltzing once again...

ksplat

Dear Karolyn

It was with mixed emtoions I read your post today. So happy to hear from you again & so very sad to hear your Father is currently in hospital. I really feel your pain & sadness, sending you hugs & many prayers at this time.

You know your Fathers fortitude & he has been low before & bounced back & I pray the medical team will get on top of his current problems & at least make him comfortable & peaceful. I don't know what else to say because I'm feeling so "blue" about your circumstances?

Thinking of you,
Angie.
_________________
Brother diagnosed with GBMIV Feb 07
Treatment: Radiotherapy, Temodal, Gliadel Wafers, Dexamethasone, Keppra, Dilantin, Clexane
Went to our Heavenly Father after a 19mth battle,, 47 years young.
23 Sep 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=19227

"Without Faith We Have Nothing"

brainman

Karolyn, my prayers are with you and your father this weekend. None of us knows how much time we have left. All we can do it try to make the most out of the time we still have... even if that is just siting with a loved one in their darkest hour. Hugs {{{Karolyn}}}
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendroglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

karolynca · Experienced user Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 51

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart, the nurse I hired just informed me he had a crisis at 5 am., she thought "that was it", he was asking to be sent home, that he wanted to died at home, sadly they won't release him in those circumstances and since I currently live outside US there is no hospice care here.

I will keep everyone updated
_________________
Dad ~ Passed away from Multiorgan failure due to secondary liver cancer on July 2008

http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=34365

karolynca · Experienced user Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 51

I just came from the hospital, the situation looks very bad. He is not being able to breath correctly and I think I saw the starting of death rattle. He is also highly restless, wants to take his clothes off and cannot talk anymore. His eyes are half closed and they get lost every now and then, he waves his hands in the air like wanting to either reach for something I cannot see or hold on to something.

I sat with him for 4 hours, hold his hands, talked to him about our life together, told him that I loved him, that he could go in peace because I was gonna be in charge of everything. I kissed him and caressed those hands that once hold me as a child...now so weak...so lifeless.

I guess eventhough he is not dead yet, I could see there was so much of him that was not there anymore. I don't think he will make it thru the night and if he does...I honestly do not think he will be able to survive tomorrow, he seems so ready to go, so weak, so frustrated with his physical body.

I am crushed...sad...depressed...words cannot describe how I feel. He was my king, the one and only "solve everything" guy...he will be missed beyond words can describe...
_________________
Dad ~ Passed away from Multiorgan failure due to secondary liver cancer on July 2008

http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=34365

zinger

Dearest Karolynca,

My heart just aches for you! I am so sorry that you are going through this. It's a horrible moment in time. I am well aware of the hopelessness and helplessness you are feeling. You want to wake up from the nightmare, but reality sinks in...

I'm glad you've gotten the opportunity to tell your Dad everything you feel. It will give you comfort in the days ahead knowing that your Dad has heard your words which come straight from your heart. You'll find solace when you remember stroking his hands and kissing his forehead. Take it all in and embrace the moments you spend with him.

God bless you Karolynca, and God grant your Dad a peaceful transition. I will be praying for you both.

Cathy
_________________
Dad ~ lung cancer diagnosed Dec 18, 2003, passed Mar 3, 2004.
Mom ~ lung cancer diagnosed May 27, 2008, passed June 1, 2008
They're waltzing once again...

brainman

Karolyn, you are doing the right things by staying with him and holding his hand. I remember one time in 1994 being in the hospital due to pneumonia when all of the state of Kentucky was by the order of the Governor closed down due to a massive snow storm. No one but emergency vehicles where allowed on the roads so I was alone for several days. I remember laying there and looking at the empty chair and just wishing that someone was sitting in it.

God continue to keep you and watch over you.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendroglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

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