| Author |
|
tazita
New User
Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 5
Location: Nova Scotia
|
 Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 6:03 am Post subject: friend with PC |
 |
|
Hi there. New to this board. My friend (actually, more like my second mother) was diagnosed about a month ago. I think she's actually been sick much longer, more like a year, but it took this long to find out what was going on. She went to BC the first of May for 5 weeks, ended up in hospital and didn't come home until the end of June. Some vacation!!(she was there to visit her kids and grandkids) That's where she had a stent put in. Right now she's having trouble eating, can only eat a few bites at a time. She's drinking boost, at least, but in my eyes, she's going down really fast. She's on oxygen, so it's hard for her to get out for blood work and Dr. appointments. She's had the paperwork for bloodwork for well over a week now, but she keeps making excuses why she can't get out for it. I personally think she's just giving up. Her belly is very distended, she has bowel problems, either she can't go, or she's running all the time. My point is, I think the sooner she gets her bloodwork done and then in to her Dr. for the results, maybe there is something that can be done to at least make her more comfortable. At least be able to eat a decent meal.(she never was a big eater, but at least maybe she could eat a nice fresh peach without throwing it up). Is there something I'm not doing, or doing wrong? She was told to eat more fresh fruits and veggies and to eat more fibre. Is this correct, or is it something she should not be eating? Oh yeah, on top of all this she's had operations for an aortic embolysm and 2 yrs ago open heart surgery for a valve replacement. plus one of her sons died last Nov at the age of 43. Plus, she has COPD. i don't think the poor woman can take much more, but she's only 74. Is there anything I can do better?
Thanks for listening.
Taz |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
brainman
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 4244
Location: Tennessee
|
| Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 7:51 am Post subject: Re: friend with PC |
|
|
Taz, I am very sorry about your second mother's Pancreatic Cancer. If you have read very many of the posts in this forum you have read where I have said that Pancreatic Cancer is one of the worse cancers a person can have. It has such a devastating impact on the quality of the person's life. Certainly, your friend is an example of this.
The other thing that make Pancreatic Cancer so bad is that it is terribly aggressive and thus should be treated as aggressively as possible. You did not mention anything about the staging of your friend's cancer (or I was too blind to see it). Do you know if it has spread to other organs?
The Pancreas produces enzymes used in the digestion of foods. Your friend's Pancreas is not working right due to her cancer. That is the cause of most of the symptoms you mentioned. The diet of fresh fruits, veggies, and more fiber sounds about right. The problem is that she cannot keep it down. I would call her doctor for help.
Taz, let me assure you that you are not doing anything wrong. What you are doing is a very loving thing. It is not easy to take care of any person with cancer... much less with Pancreatic Cancer. Your friend may be "giving up." That is why you need to stand by her side letting her know that you have not given up. The time may come when you and your friend will have to face the reality but that is not the same thing as giving up.
You and your friend are in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/ |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
jessica026
Regular
Joined: 17 Jan 2008
Posts: 39
|
| Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 11:14 pm Post subject: Re: friend with PC |
|
|
its so hard to know what to do isnt it?..i think she does need to see a dr and get her bloodwork done though, and then maybe the dr can give you some advice on what to do.
I am so sorry you are going through this..i know how terrible it is too watch...my thoughts are with you |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
tazita
New User
Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 5
Location: Nova Scotia
|
| Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 8:58 am Post subject: Re: friend with PC |
|
|
Thankyou for your kind words. I actually don't know what stage it's at. She is one of those people who don't ask questions when they're at the Dr. I do know that both the specialist and her GP said she could go through treatment, but they both said it's unlikely that at this point that it would be a significant help. More likely to make her feel much worse(if that's even possible) So, right now, I'm just trying to make her as comfy as possible. She goes for bloodwork on Tues. and will see her Dr. after that for an update. Right now, her feet and legs are painfully swollen. I'm hoping the Dr. will increase the dosage of the water pills to help with that. I'm also thinking that her swollen belly might be due to ascites(Sp?) What can be done about that? can it be drained off somehow? I just wish I could get her to eat. She was sick to her stomach yesterday, and then I found out she hadn't eaten anything solid, just liquids. She did eat a piece of lemon pie. Not the best diet, but at least it was something solid. I guess in the long run she might as well eat whatever tastes good to her, as long as she's getting something solid down. Thanks again for listening.
Taz |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Big Sister
Experienced user
Joined: 02 Nov 2006
Posts: 68
|
| Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:47 pm Post subject: Re: friend with PC |
|
|
Hello, Taz -- You found this forum because your friend received a horrid diagnosis. You are trying to help but are unsure of what to do. You see your friend slipping away, uncomfortable, in pain, trying to eliminate while at the same time trying to hold back. You see a distended belly, swollen feet, hands, ankles. You know she's not eating...more to the point: can't eat. Her body is shutting down one part at a time. You want to fix it for your friend or at least try to find someone who can.
All of us who post here or who have posted here in the past know your story. We all have people very dear to us, some still with us, some already gone, but all of them victims of pancreatic cancer.
Without fanfare or tears, I will tell you what to do in the time you have left: read to your friend, sing to her, pray with and for her, bring out family photo albums and refresh her memory of those dear to her. If you can and if it's appropriate, find out whether her affairs are in order and ask what you can do to help in this regard.
If she has children, make sure they know the situation. Don't let them wait until Christmas or Hanukkah or some distant date to visit. Ask her whom you should call or seek to come visit. If she has a spiritual leader, ask him/her to come to the house for a brief time. Make sure she knows there's always hope even if days seem dark.
Finally, if it's appropriate, seek intervention from Hospice or find someone who can. Very often a family member will have to authorize that...or the patient herself. Hospice workers are fine professionals who will allow her the dignity of staying in her own home while offering comfort during the last grueling weeks.
Taz, there is no cure for this disease -- no drug to stop it, no therapy that works. Even with surgery death is merely prolonged. Those of us who post here are familiar with all the symptoms you listed and know that your friend's time is very limited.
You asked how to help: Your job now is to give whatever comfort you can so that she knows she's not alone and that someone cares enough to offer a cooling cloth to her forehead, a brush to her tired hair, or a clean sheet when she has embarrassed herself.
Yours is a hard road, but if you love your friend you will help her depart this life in comfort and with dignity. I certainly would want this same gift.
Please know we are thinking of you. Big Sister Pat |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
tazita
New User
Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 5
Location: Nova Scotia
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:06 am Post subject: Re: friend with PC |
|
|
| Thankyou all. She was taken this morning by ambulance to the hospital. Her son and daughter-in-law are with her. I feel I must now stand back and let her be with her family. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
jessica026
Regular
Joined: 17 Jan 2008
Posts: 39
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:09 am Post subject: Re: friend with PC |
|
|
so sorry to hear this.....you truley are a great friend for being there for her..it is so hard to see someone like that  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
brainman
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 4244
Location: Tennessee
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
karolynca
Experienced user
Joined: 13 May 2008
Posts: 51
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 7:43 pm Post subject: Re: friend with PC |
|
|
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers
_________________
Dad ~ Passed away from Multiorgan failure due to secondary liver cancer on July 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=34365 |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
tazita
New User
Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 5
Location: Nova Scotia
|
| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 1:31 pm Post subject: Re: friend with PC |
|
|
They say today we should go in to see her as soon as possible. She may not last the night. Her kidneys have shut down. Will she be in a lot of pain? What do I say if she's conscious? What can I expect? I'm scared. How scared must she feel? Maybe she'll be drugged so she won't be hurting too much?  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
brainman
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 4244
Location: Tennessee
|
| Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 5:13 am Post subject: Re: friend with PC |
|
|
Taz, my heart goes out to you right now. Kidney failure can really be a sign that the end is near. Some times it can be reversed but with Pancreatic Cancer, I am not sure Renal failure can be reversed. If it cannot, it does not usually have any pain associated with it. Toxins in your friend's blood will rapidly increase and she will sleep more and more until she finally just does not wake up and passes on. It is often a long but relatively painless way to die.
While she is still alert, she will complain about feeling sick; she will not want to eat much if any. I guess what I am trying to say is that while there might not be any pain, there often is a lot of generalized suffering. I which I knew how to put it more delicately .
You and your friend are in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/ |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
tazita
New User
Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 5
Location: Nova Scotia
|
| Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 9:32 am Post subject: Re: friend with PC |
|
|
Thankyou everyone. We were told Wednesday not to come in to the hospital. She was sedated and didn't know anyone by 4:00. She died peacefully in her sleep without any pain at 1:30 Thursday morning. It was very fast. I am grateful for that. Boy, am I going to miss her. I feel pain, but she told me "No boo-hooing!!", so I have not cried. I feel sort of numb, like I'm sleepwalking. I stayed home from work yesterday, but I came in today. Is that wrong? I feel like I need to keep myself busy. Thanks to everyone for listening.
Taz |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
brainman
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 4244
Location: Tennessee
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
Search 
Email Digests
Register to post
Profile 
Check private messages 
Log in
What is this ?
We subscribe to the HONcode principles. Verify here. All content and posts are copyright.
