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partlysunny
Regular
Joined: 06 Aug 2008
Posts: 17
Location: US
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 Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:33 am Post subject: Heartbroken and feeling lost |
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The ground fell out from under my feet in mid July when my seemingly healthy mother was diagnosed July 8 with Stage IV adeno carcinoma NSCLC with mets to her bones. For the two weeks prior, the doctors had treated her for pneumonia (a common theme on this forum) but, when she didn't rally, more tests and the final diagnosis. The doctors were very upfront and told us there would be no cure, it had progressed too far, but that they could keep her comfortable. Some radiation was planned first to decrease a tumor that was giving her back pain and then, maybe, they would follow this with chemo to give us a little more time together.
Well, flash forward almost 4 weeks. The radiation oncologist has stopped treatments because she isn't tolerating it well at all and a followup MRI indicates new spots in both hips. Then suggested we might want to contact Hospice. She won't eat and drinks very little. Mom has lost almost 35 lbs in 6 weeks on an already thin frame. She only leaves her bed to use the bathroom or go to a doctor appointment. She sleeps most of the day.
All of this is compounded by the fact that I'm on the East Coast and Mom lives on the West Coast. I flew home for a week after the initial diagnosis but had to return to my family and job (I am the breadwinner). I'm limited to phone calls and emails to and from my brother who lives close by and is her caregiver. My father is not handling this well and has his own health issues.
I'm feeling pretty helpless.
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Cindy
My beautiful Mom
Diagnosed July 8, 2008 Stage IV NSCLC
Died peacefully September 2, 2008 |
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brainman
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 4214
Location: Tennessee
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| Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 4:44 am Post subject: Re: Heartbroken and feeling lost |
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Cindy, I am so very sorry about your mother's cancer. I copied your post to the lung cancer forum because you will find a lot of very loving and informed people here to help you through this hard time.
You and your mother are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/ |
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partlysunny
Regular
Joined: 06 Aug 2008
Posts: 17
Location: US
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| Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 8:30 am Post subject: Re: Heartbroken and feeling lost |
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Thanks, Jim. (I actually did the same thing when I started posting a few days ago.  )
Since I live so far from my mother, and have very few people to talk with about what's doing on, this forum has been quite a comfort to me. Thank you for ALL you do!
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Cindy
My beautiful Mom
Diagnosed July 8, 2008 Stage IV NSCLC
Died peacefully September 2, 2008 |
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koikkeril
Super Moderator
Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 334
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| Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 8:47 pm Post subject: Re: Heartbroken and feeling lost |
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Hello Cindy
I am sorry that you have also had to search your way to our forum...but happy to welcome you too..
I can sympathize with how much heartache you must be going through at this moment watching your loved mother deteriorate so rapidly...
It seems so incredible that one minute we have as we think a healthy person and next a slap in the face with a disease called cancer!
I hope that your mum will find her way to getting back her appetite as the strength is major importance for this roller coaster ride...
Don't feel helpless, because you are already doing something by finding us!....And the greatest importance is being there for your mum, even if its only holding her hand...
Have Hope, Don't give up and keep mum positive thinking if you can..
Hope to hear your updates...My prayers will be with you, God Bless..Koik
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Husband diagnosed with stage 1V NSCLC Febuary 2007.....Lost his battle August 27th 2008 but lives on in my heart. |
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partlysunny
Regular
Joined: 06 Aug 2008
Posts: 17
Location: US
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:16 am Post subject: Re: Heartbroken and feeling lost |
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Hello (((Koik)))
Thank you for your warm welcome. I've read about Daniel's journey. What a fighter he is! You both have touched my heart. I include you and Daniel in my prayers each day.
I've arranged a flight this week to spend time with my mother and get a clearer picture of what's going on. While I know that my father and brother are giving her the best of care, I sometimes get conflicting information when I call.
Koik, I'm hoping your headaches are "only" migraines brought on by all of this stress. (Seems odd to wish migraines on someone, but under the circumstances...)
Please take care of yourself, Koik. You mean so much to so many people.
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Cindy
My beautiful Mom
Diagnosed July 8, 2008 Stage IV NSCLC
Died peacefully September 2, 2008 |
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koikkeril
Super Moderator
Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 334
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| Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:14 pm Post subject: Re: Heartbroken and feeling lost |
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Hello Cindy
Thank you for your kind words!
I am pleased you are taking flight to see your mum...Seeing is believing and having special time with your mum now is what is most important..
I think my headaches are migraine and I can understand why I too must wish for a migraine.... 
It will be hard accepting my husband will eventually die of this disease because he has held on so long against all odds now...that its become unreal...that is my headache!
I wouldn't even be surprised if one day he got out of his bed and carried it!!!
Well I hope so!!! 
Take good care of yourself and thanks again for praying for us and I would also like you to know you are also in my prayers...God Bless..Koik
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Husband diagnosed with stage 1V NSCLC Febuary 2007.....Lost his battle August 27th 2008 but lives on in my heart. |
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hopeful
Regular
Joined: 27 May 2008
Posts: 30
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| Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 3:07 pm Post subject: Re: Heartbroken and feeling lost |
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Hello Cindy
Just wanted to let you know that I read your post and I am so sorry for you and your mother. I can somewhat relate to your feelings. I live in a different state from my family (although not as far as you) and was limited in my ability to see my father as well. However, we made it work the best we could and I am grateful that he had family nearby with my mom and siblings. Hang in there and spend whatever time you can with her, by phone, with this next visit. I'll be thinking of you. |
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