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reedy
Regular
Joined: 26 Jul 2008
Posts: 19
Location: mackay,QLD, Australia
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 Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 9:39 pm Post subject: My wonderful dad passed away |
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| My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in october 2007. He was given 3 to 12 months. He had one round of chemo which made him terribly ill and failed to work so pain management and quality of life became our focus. He was coping fine and we had a huge xmas with all the family and close friends but you could still see it in everyones eyes that this could be dad's last xmas! I moved away in feb 2008 due to finacial reasons which was the hardest thing i have had to do. I visited as often as i could, he sounded perfectly normal on the phone but every time i visited he looked worse! He couldn't eat anymore and was suviving on Ensure and was in a great deal of pain which the doctors had a very hard time controlling.Eventually as dad wanted to stay home they hooked up a syringe driver which delivered a high dose of morphine and calming drugs over a 24 hour period. the blue care nurses were wonderful and came out to their house every couple of days. At the end of may he started deteriorating fast, i called the doctor and she sain it would be best if i came home to spend time with dad and that the end was near. His pain was just out of control he was having coutless breakthrough morqhine injections and they added methadone to his driver. he had wasted away to nothing and started to get really confused. that was one of the hardest things as dad was always such a quick witted person. Dads breathing was getting very laboured and had an awful rattle sound. The day dad passed i was there with my mum and her best friend who was staying to help care for dad. the rattle in his chest was so loud and he was really fading, my brother had gone into town (30 min away) to get more morphine. I was sitting with dad i had to sit behind him and hold him forward so he could breathe easier, i was talking to him and telling him about our old camping trips he had tears running down his cheeks then all of a sudden the rattle dissapeared and he was struggling to take a breath i called mum in and we all knew this was it! He took his last breath in my arms. My brother arrived 5 mins later. i was glad he didn't wtittness it because it was really terrible. I will always love my beautiful dad. i am finding it very hard to forget those last few weeks and try to remember him for the strong man he was. reading all your posts has made me feel better knowing there are other people out there who know what we are going trough. |
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Queensland Girl
Experienced user
Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 64
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:58 am Post subject: Re: My wonderful dad passed away |
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Reedy,
I'm so sorry to read of your Dad's passing. My Dad died in January and he passed away almost like your Dad. It was so distressing to watch him die that I didn't let the kids in to see their Grandad this way. The death rattle will always haunt me.
I can assure you though, that whilst your Dad's deterioration and his condition are fresh in your memory now, in time when you talk about him, the images of how he was - the strong man you always knew will be how you remember him.
Our Dad died in Brisbane away from everything he ever knew. I'm glad your Dad was at home.
My heart goes out to you and your family, and I'm only a click away if you want to talk
_________________
Regards,
Queensland Girl
Mum diagnosed June 1993, surgery and chemo died August 1993 (Pancreatic Cancer)
Dad diagnosed July 2007, chemo only died January 2008 (Pancreatic Cancer) |
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brainman
Chief Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 4440
Location: Tennessee
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jessica026
Regular
Joined: 17 Jan 2008
Posts: 44
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 4:12 pm Post subject: Re: My wonderful dad passed away |
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| so sorry about your dad...I spent as much time as i could with my mom but had to stay away for the last couple days( i dont think i could have handled watching her pass), and i admire your courage for being there until the end. |
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reedy
Regular
Joined: 26 Jul 2008
Posts: 19
Location: mackay,QLD, Australia
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 5:51 pm Post subject: thank you all for your replies |
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thank you all for your replies, i did love my dad so very much and am glad to think the bad memories will fade. you are all also in my thoughts and i am sorry to hear of your loved ones fates!! this is such a terrible cancer, it needs much more attention and research and i will be doing as much as i can to get this going!! once again thank you!!  |
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karolynca
Experienced user
Joined: 13 May 2008
Posts: 51
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| Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 9:23 pm Post subject: Re: My wonderful dad passed away |
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Sending all my love to you, my dad died less than a month ago, I guess one of the best piece of advice I got from all the support forums I went while he dealt with his cancer was to take advantage of the time I had with him...I sure treasure it now....
_________________
Dad ~ Passed away from Multiorgan failure due to secondary liver cancer on July 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=34365 |
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kylee08
New User
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Posts: 1
Location: Mildura
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| Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 10:28 am Post subject: Re: My wonderful dad passed away |
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hello
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. When I looked at your message
I couldn't believe I am in the same situation as what you were. My father was diagonsed with pancreas cancer about 1 year ago and I am currently living across the road from him and I really need to move away due to money issues as well. But I really would rather become bankrupt then to move away from him. He isn't eating and is vomiting a lot he has become so skinny I can almost see his bones its horrible. He cant do anything anymore the only thing he does is sit in his chair he is on morphine but not hourly yet would you have any idea if he is near the end ? I know you may not be a doctor but you have been through the same thing as what I am going through
any help would be much appreciated
kind regards kylie |
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reedy
Regular
Joined: 26 Jul 2008
Posts: 19
Location: mackay,QLD, Australia
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| Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 11:55 pm Post subject: sorry about your dad kylie08 |
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| i am so sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis. It is truly a terrible thing to witness. It is so hard to tell when they are nearing the end even the doctors can't truly tell. If your dad has stopped eating all together though it probably won't be very long, is he still drinking fluids? this has a big impact. My dad stopped eating altogether about 2 weeks before he passed and before that he would just have a couple of bites of something and he stopped drinking about 3 days before. about a week before his breathing became different and had an awful rattle sound, which i think was his lungs filling up with fluid, he also got really confused and was really restless wanting to wander about alot even though he could hardly walk. The last two days he had trouble talking at all but he could still hear what you were saying to him. My advice is to hold off moving as long as possible, i know this will probably be a strain financially on your family, but it does sound as if your dad is near the end and you won't forgive yourself if you airn't there at the end. Even though it was an agonising thing to wittness i am now glad i was there with my dad at the end. If you would like to email me for any advice or even just to vent my email is ree_wolski@hotmail.com. Stay strong and share as many happy memories with your dad as u can. |
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