My grandpa is deteriorating faster than we expected

GRANDdaughterD · Regular Joined: 31 Aug 2008 Posts: 15

It's been 3 weeks or so since my grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer. He's getting weak really fast and can't get around without help--even with a walker. He just doesn't have the strength to stand up on his own or get to the toilet on his own. He was doing everything for himself and even vacuuming his house a month ago--without a cane or a walker! The oxycontin they have him on for pain is sedating him, so he sleeps a lot. He doesn't want to eat and he doesn't really have an opinion about anything--what to eat or drink, what to watch on TV, etc. He just says, "I don't know" when we ask him to make a decision. I don't know how much of it is the pain meds and how much is part of the disease process.

He began having constant painful hiccups a week or so ago and it was driving him crazy and interfering with his sleep. The hospice gave him thorazine to help with that. It does help, but he is out of it for hours after taking it.

He keeps saying he thought that moving up here with us and getting on hospice would get him feeling better so he could have a good several months before he died. It's shocking to him how fast he is declining. It's very sad. I'm so sorry this is happening to him.

He's on oxygen now. Since you can't use petroleum products around oxygen, what can I use on his lips when they're chapped?
_________________
D
My wonderful grandfather was dx with metastatic stage IV lung cancer on 8/28/08. He passed away at my home on 9/21/08.

Rest in peace, Poppy. We love you.

maryaz · Last edited by maryaz on Sun Sep 14, 2008 10:46 pm; edited 1 time in total

Hi, I don't know what the diagnosis is for your grandfather. If hospice was not their, I would have asked if he was overdosing on the pain meds. Something doesn't sound right. If hospice is caring for him, then I would think things would be under control. I hope some others come and offer you more information.

Depends on what was expected or the diagnosis as to what you would see today for him.

I do know what you can use for his lips.(**see note below) It is OTC but if you don't see it, ask. 'Ayr Saline Nasal Gel'. If his nose gets too dry there is Saline Nasal Spray and there are generics. Also Ayr has one called 'Nose Better'. I wear oxygen and do know about this and so you can trust this info.

I forgot, You also can use K-Y Gel. It is water based too and okay for this.

I will try to get back tomorrow and see what else has been shared. Best of luck with this.

**NOTE MY CORRECTION: What I posted is for the nose and not the lips. Sorry about that. Don't use anything oil based with oxygen tho.
_________________
Mary

Husband is 67 year old Male
NSCLC - Squamous Cell Carcinoma
Chemo and Radiation Treatments together
Allergic reactions to Taxol and Taxotere.
The Story: http://www.cancerforums.net/about9079.html

pbj11 · Site Admin Joined: 12 May 2007 Posts: 1405

I'm sorry to hear about this fast decline. Use chapstick or anything he likes. My husband was on oxygen for 2 1/2 years and was a chapstick freak. Don't worry. Make sure he has the concentrator with the water bottle attached so that his nose doesn't get dried out.

I hope things rally for him, I know how sad this makes you.

We're here, hoping and praying for what God knows is best for your Grandfather.

Hugs,
PBJ
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.

Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

GRANDdaughterD · Regular Joined: 31 Aug 2008 Posts: 15

Thank you both for replying. I found some Burt's Bees lip balm for him--it's made from bees wax and not petroleum. We do have a humidifier on the oxygen tank now--just started using it last night. He's having a better day today. Hospice came out and we've decided that my grandparents will stay living with me instead of moving in an apartment with my mom--because I'm a stay at home mom and my mom works. My grandma doesn't have the strength to get my grandpa up to go to the bathroom or to help him up if he falls. We'll be getting a hospital bed next week. The hospice nurse said based on how my grandpa is doing (no appetite, weak, loss of bladder control, sleeping a lot), she thinks he probably has about a month left. I asked her about it because I've never been around a dying person. She was basing it on what she's seen with other patients.

My grandpa is having a good day today. He's more alert and himself and it's so nice. Praise God for the good days!
_________________
D
My wonderful grandfather was dx with metastatic stage IV lung cancer on 8/28/08. He passed away at my home on 9/21/08.

Rest in peace, Poppy. We love you.

pbj11 · Site Admin Joined: 12 May 2007 Posts: 1405

Hi,

You know it! Take every one of those "up" days and treasure them. I'm sure you've read many of the journeys posted by caregivers here, so you can tell things go radically up and down at the drop of a hat. That's why we (not so fondly) call this a roller-coaster of a disease.

Please take care of yourself too. These times can be so stressful to loved ones/caregivers.

God bless you for doing this for your Grandfather and keep a close eye on how this is affecting your Grandmother.

Hugs and Prayers,
PBJ
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.

Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

GRANDdaughterD · Regular Joined: 31 Aug 2008 Posts: 15

Thanks! I just talked to the hospice chaplain and he's coming tomorrow to talk to both of my grandparents. I've been trying to nurture my grandma too. I think it is just now hitting her. She said it feels like the rug has been pulled out from under her. She said if something happens to him she'll feel like she's lost everything. Sad

Have a great day!
_________________
D
My wonderful grandfather was dx with metastatic stage IV lung cancer on 8/28/08. He passed away at my home on 9/21/08.

Rest in peace, Poppy. We love you.

pbj11 · Site Admin Joined: 12 May 2007 Posts: 1405

You are a wonderful source of support for both of your grandparents. I'm glad the chaplain will be talking with them soon. I'm sure your grandmother is going through all kinds of emotions. She WILL feel like the rug was pulled out, but that's for later and neither of you will ever be the same. This is a definite life changer. Right now cherish the time together as a family and do whatever your grandfather wants.

I'm glad you are able to come here to let off some of the stress and share with us. Sometimes that is the only way to get us through these tough days and stay sane. It's good that your grandmother is expressing some of her thoughts to you.

More hugs sent and prayers too! I admire your devotion so much. I can't help but think that God will smile upon you for this love.

PBJ
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.

Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

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