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Kisara
New User
Joined: 27 Sep 2007
Posts: 9
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 Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 7:18 pm Post subject: Well, I'm almost done with the cancer. |
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July 1st will be hopefully the end of my cancer. I'm sad in so many ways though. I'm turning 19 on Monday, and then two weeks later I will end up having to get a hysterectomy. My life isn't my choice anymore... I don't get to decide. I went to MD Anderson in Houston, TX and they had told me that the cancer progressed. (I now have endometrial cancer stage 2A)
The only option was the hysterectomy. But I just feel like such a failure to myself, my mother, and to my brother. I don't get to have children of my own now. I don't get to decide to be a mother, my mom never gets to be a grandmother, and my brother doesn't ever get to be an uncle. My entire family is screaming adoption! You can adopt!
Well... all of you got to have your children. Why can't I? What did I do to deserve my choice taken away from me? I know there's adoption. I KNOW. But that's not fair I'm put into that situation! I will forever have health issues now... who's going to let me adopt a child? Children deserve to have healthy parents, not someone who will get sick on them.
I don't know how to deal with this. I feel as if I'm going to my own funeral instead of knowing I wont have cancer anymore. I'm supposed to be happy about that right? I thought I was supposed to be happy to know I should be cured of the cancer. Why am I so sad instead then?
I was talking with my manager the other day, and he said I was dealing with things so well. I told him, you don't know what happens when I go home.
The last time I was this sad is when my mom had her bilateral preventive mastectomy. I thought I was going to lose my mom then. But I got over it when the doctors told me she didn't have breast cancer. How am I supposed to get over this one? Yes, I'm not going to die from this cancer... but my life changes forever. |
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pbj11
Site Admin
Joined: 12 May 2007
Posts: 1405
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| Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:37 pm Post subject: Re: Well, I'm almost done with the cancer. |
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Kisara,
My heart goes out to you over this news. As much as it is good that the cancer will be gone, you are grieving over the loss of the ability to have children. I'm sure your family means well and wants to lift your spirits, but that's obviously not what you want to hear right now.
You'll go through a natural grieving process for a period of time and then maybe you'll wish to revisit the adoption issue at a later time. Take things one day at a time. You are so young to have this much on your plate.
May God be with you during this troubling time.
PBJ
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.
Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 |
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simplyklb
Senior User
Joined: 04 May 2008
Posts: 233
Location: Near Kansas City MO
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| Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 11:10 pm Post subject: Re: Well, I'm almost done with the cancer. |
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Kisara,
I had a friend who underwent a hysterectomy when she was 15. She had problems with her reproductive system. It was a serious wake up call to look into my own probs.
She grieved at 15. She also looked to my mom because she knew that my mom has been adopted. The friend got married 15 years ago and never adopted any children. She's a nurse and considered the kids she took care of as her kids.
It's natural to grieve for the loss of the ability to have kids. I am thinking of you!
Kristi
_________________
Dad - Andy, 70, diagnosed with SCLC in May 2008
2/20/38 - 10/15/08 Fly high, Dad!
Mom - Jackie, 67, diagnosed with NSCLC in May 2008 |
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In
Site Admin
Joined: 18 Jul 2007
Posts: 1446
Location: AUSTRALIA
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| Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:55 am Post subject: Re: Well, I'm almost done with the cancer. |
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Kisara,
Grief takes time. Listen to the others, take time to grieve.
"A women who gives birth, Is not always A Mother". It takes the right type of person to be a true Mother. Not a Birth Child alone."
_________________
Thinking of you Inica
*Administrator*
~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~
My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731
 9 Lives and still kicking |
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brainman
Chief Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 4440
Location: Tennessee
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